Getting to Know “Granddaddy”

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been trying to get our family room put together so we’ll have at least one room that is completely unpacked and homey. In that particular room we have built-in shelves around the fireplace where I’ve been trying to arrange family pictures {gallery style} on the shelves in frames of various sizes. And, in this process, I’ve had to have several pictures enlarged. Nothing fascinates the girls as much as old pictures of the Spouse and/or me. {I think it just blows their minds that we had a life before they were born}.

So, the girls have been very interested in talking about the pictures of our wedding, old vacations, pictures of us from childhood, etc. And, the Toddler, especially, has been obsessed with pictures of my dad, who we refer to as “Granddaddy.” Dad passed away six years ago, so the girls never met him. But, it’s important to me that they know who he was and what he was like.  I was fortunate enough to grow up knowing all four of my grandparents and had them as active participants in my life for two decades, and I feel like my own children need to know as much as I can communicate to them about the maternal grandfather who is missing in theirs. I can’t do him justice, but I can tell them a good bit about the personality and character of the man who would have been delighted to no end to be a “Granddaddy.”

The Toddler, though, has questions I just can’t answer. Questions that come to her, {like all of her deep questions do}, at bedtime when I’m rubbing her back and trying to talk her into going to sleep.

The Toddler: Is Granddaddy in heaven with God?

Me: Yes, honey. He is.

The Toddler: Why is he in heaven?

Me: Well, because God took him to heaven a few years ago. Before you were even born.

The Toddler: Is he sitting on the clouds with God?

Me: Well, maybe. {I’m  pretty sure this is not the case, but I can’t really offer a better explanation to her for what he might be doing up there, so I let it go. She would want details, people. Details.}

The Toddler: I want Granddaddy to come down from heaven.

Me: Me, too, baby. Me, too.  {Oh, God. How I wish that were possible. Because, you know what? I miss him, too. I miss having lunch with him. I miss his sarcasm. I miss the way he joked with Mom and made her laugh. I miss the way he planned our beach trips and ordered key lime pie all week just because he was “on vacation.” I miss the way he’d answer the phone by saying “Joe’s Pizza” every time I’d call the house. I miss asking him all my random medical questions. In fact, I’d have a few for him right now. I’d have him look at that mole on the Preschooler’s neck and ask him if he thinks the Baby’s head is too flat in the back. And, then he’d tell me everything was fine and to stop worrying… and I would. Oh, Toddler. I wish he’d come down from up there, too. If only for long enough to talk to Mom and meet his four granddaughters and give all of us a proper goodbye.} 

Me, continued: But, he can’t come down, honey. He’s got to stay in heaven with God.

The Toddler: Did Granddaddy kiss Mimi? {She’s also obsessed with why people kiss right now.}

Me: Yes, he did. {changing the subject…} And, you know what else he did? He had a stethoscope {she and the Preschooler love “stef-o-scopes”} and he listened to people’s hearts, and he took care of people.

The Toddler: He did?

Me: Yep. And, you know what? He loved kids. And, he would have loved you. He would have loved you very, very much.

And, with that she is satisfied, at least for the evening.

But, you know, I’m not all that satisfied. Because I know what she and her sisters and her cousin are missing. And, all our pictures and all our stories can’t ever fill that void. It just isn’t the same as knowing him.

Nevertheless, I’m going to keep talking about the pictures and telling the stories. Because, the thing is… it does more than just inform my girls about their “Granddaddy.”

It helps me remember. And, I don’t ever want to forget.