When the days seem long and insignificant…

Yesterday morning I was talking on the phone to a friend when the Toddler came running into the kitchen with what she considered to be an urgent problem if not a full-blown emergency. Her plastic onion and lettuce ball had both {somehow} gotten stuck in the chute of one of her favorite toys–the Busy Ball Popper–and clogged it.

Vegetables will do that every time.

So, after I gave my mini lecture on why we don’t stuff our onion or our lettuce or other non-ball objects into things like the Ball Popper, I finally figured out how to wrangle the plastic food out using a case knife and some careful shaking. And, once again, the Ball Popper was up and running… or popping. {Fortunately, the Toddler put “play” food into this chute. Her sister once poured an entire serving of real apple sauce into the Fisher-Price gum ball toy, and it was never to be the same}.

Lately I find myself doing all sorts of strange projects. For one thing, we’re in the throes of potty training with the Toddler so that in itself has its unique challenges, especially for a germaphobe. But, while working on other projects, whether it be getting plastic vegetables out of a chute, removing a band-aid from a baby doll’s “hurt” knee, or gluing a Barbie doll’s head back into its neck, I have to admit that I have these occasional thoughts… prideful thoughts, really,… things like…

“I sure went to college for a long time to spend my days doing this.”
“I have a Masters degree…”
“I’m going to have nothing to show for this day at this rate.”
“I really need to talk to more adults during the day… or at least to someone who can feed herself and bathe independently.”
“Did you seriously just do that?” {which can be in response to any number of scenarios that arise}
“I think my brain cells might be dying.”
“I wonder what I’m missing out on by being home so much…”

I think the thoughts are just a coping mechanism. Some days are great, and I feel like I’ve really got a handle on this parenting thing. But, other days… there are no words. Just one frustration and defeat after another. And those are the days when I’m most painfully aware that there are parts of my mind and heart that need more than an attitude adjustment… they need some major refining.

A few weeks ago I ran across an article that I printed off and keep by the computer where I can pick it up for encouragement on the more challenging days. The author is herself a stay-at-home mom to young children, so she writes with from-the-trenches experience and insight. And, her straightforwardness about the significance of even the most seemingly insignificant parts of the day struck me to the core.  Her name is Rachel Jankovic, and she begins by saying…

“The closer you get to home, the less intriguing the work of sacrifice seems.”

How true.

But, where she really impacted me was near the end of the article where she writes…

“It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but if you spend your time at home resenting the imposition your children are on you, you do not. You cannot have a heart for the gospel and a fussiness about your life at the same time. {Ouch}. You will never make any difference there if you cannot be at peace here. You cannot have a heart for missions but not for the people around you. A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive.”

And, it is that realization… that I too often have a “fussiness” about my life in the midst of what I know are really very pleasant circumstances, that makes me want to change. Sure, there is great purpose and great opportunity for growth in the sacrifices that motherhood requires. But, there is also the potential for great joy and contentment for those who can wrap their minds and hearts around the real power of the gospel to make even the tiniest of things into significant things…

Even things like removing a head of lettuce and an onion from a Ball Popper for what I know won’t be the last time.