We’ve gotta’ get to guppy…

My mom was determined that my siblings and I would learn to swim at a young age.  Therefore, I went through all the swimming classes at the local YMCA beginning in infancy with the parent/child classes and eventually graduating to the ones with the fun names: Eel, Polliwog, Minnow, Guppy, and so on. While I never demonstrated any Olympic potential in the pool, I did eventually succeed in learning to swim on top of and under the water. So, I have the expectation that my own children will master basic swimming skills at fairly young ages–both for their safety and for their enjoyment of the water.

So… last year at about this time I decided to enroll the Preschooler in a swimming program I had seen advertised on the local news and in magazines at the pediatrician’s office. The seasoned instructor, who we will call “Mr. Ned,” got rave reviews for his work with even the youngest swimmers. I called and signed the Preschooler up and off we went to our first class. She was beyond excited. We had talked about swim lessons for weeks, and she was so happy to wear her new swimsuit, cover-up, and Crocs.  She looked every bit the part of “beginner swimmer.”

We arrived at the swimming school {which was actually a pool with a bubble attached to a home in a residential area}.  And, the Preschooler eagerly hopped into the warm water and anxiously waited with the other 3-5 year olds for the class to begin.  Meanwhile, I took my seat with the Toddler poolside in the 105-degree atmosphere {literally} to spectate.  Soon, “Mr. Ned” entered and began the lesson.  I’ll describe him as authoritative, a bit gruff, and completely intimidating.  What started as some playful splashing soon escalated into him asking each of the kids to put their face in the water.  And, this is where things took a turn for the worse.

Little did I know that the Preschooler had such an extreme aversion to the water being in her eyes or on her face.  At the mere suggestion that she put her face directly in the water, she lost it and began screaming for me to rescue her.  Clearly, “Mr. Ned” had seen this situation a time or two before…

“Mr. Ned” {loudly}:  Whose child is this?

Me {quietly}:  She’s mine, sir.

“Mr. Ned”:  Do you want me to make her put her face in the water?

Me:  Well, are all the other kids going to be doing that?  Is it important that she do it right now?

“Mr. Ned”:  Yes.  And, if they won’t do it on their own, I put them under myself.  There’s always one who acts like this, and they just have to get past their fear.

Me:  Um… Well, she doesn’t like the water to get in her eyes, but if you think that’s what works best, I just want her to learn to swim.

“Mr. Ned”:  Fine.  I’m going to need you to leave the pool area.  In fact, I need to you go to the locker room and turn off all the lights so she can’t see you.  You can come back in 5 minutes before the class is over.  I’ll send someone to get you.  This will never work if you’re in here.

Me:  O…. K.

And, with that, I left my terrified, traumatized 3-year old in the arms of “Mr. Ned” who proceeded to dunk her in and out of the water {both to her horror and my regret} for the next 15 minutes.  Without a bit of exaggeration, I could hear her screaming from the front parking lot.  It was one of my worst parenting moments to date.  And, truth be told, I’m not sure who was more scared of “Mr. Ned”… the Preschooler or her non-confrontational mother.

When the class finally ended {what seemed like three hours later}, I consoled the Preschooler and had a lengthy conversation with “Mr. Ned’s” assistant about what alternative classes we might consider for the rest of the spring.  Fortunately, we were allowed to switch to a parent/child class, and the Spouse accompanied the Preschooler to her remaining lessons.  I, however, remained banished from the pool area so as not to distract or offer rescue for the rest of the season.  I did, though, watch and listen from a distance each week.

Unfortunately, I can’t say the Preschooler enjoyed going to any of her five swim lessons.  But, the fact that her Daddy was in the water with her did much for her anxiety and cooperation.  And, by the end of the summer, she might have showed a few subtle signs of being more confident in the water.

I’m faced with the dilemma now, though, of what to do this season.  Obviously, “Mr. Ned” and the Preschooler’s sensitivities are not a good match.  But, she needs someone who can earn her trust and then help her overcome her fears to move forward in learning to actually swim.  She needs someone who has some skills with the strong-willed, sensitive type… someone who is not afraid of a little challenge but who is at least a bit gentle in his/her approach.  She needs… a wonder-worker.

On the way to school this morning, the Preschooler told me that she “dreamed she put her head under the water at her swim lessons.”  So, I think she’s getting there mentally.  We just have to do some better research this season so I don’t further add to last year’s traumatic set-back.

Any ideas?  Suggestions?  Stories of hope?  I’m all ears…