Well, I know of at least one creature who is currently camped out on Santa’s naughty list.
Between school pick-ups and after-school activities, Fridays are long afternoons where Rosie has to spend a large chunk of her day in her crate. Feeling guilty about this, I took the Spouse up on his suggestion that I take her along with me to the 4th Grader’s swim lessons at the local YMCA last week. He said, and I quote, “She loves riding in the car. She’ll be just fine sitting in the front seat while you all go in. She just likes being with you.”
So, I loaded her and the girls up and off we went to the Y. She was clearly offended that I left her in the car long enough to get the 4th Grader settled into her class, but she got over it and seemed content enough when we returned. So, I thought it would work just as well to run a quick errand to the credit union with her. My credit union doesn’t have a drive-through, so I parked and was preparing to get the girls out. The second the Preschooler opened her sliding door, that dog jumped without warning and without her feet ever touching the ground, straight from the front seat out the back door and into the parking lot to begin what can only be described as a mad sprint to nowhere. I mean, she was gone. So, the 2nd Grader is yelling. The Preschooler is crying. And, I’m in the middle of a busy parking lot screaming for a dog who is running, like a jackrabbit, in between moving cars and around buildings with no intention of heeding my command for her to “COME BACK, IMMEDIATELY!!” After yelling at the girls to get back in the car and not move a muscle, I ran up a hill, around another office complex, and was able to eventually trick her {by pretending I had a treat in my hand} into coming just close enough to me for me to grab hold of her collar and escort her rebellious self back to the car. I was sweating and shaking for a good thirty minutes after this whole incident. Rosie was panting and thirsty and seemingly pretty pleased with her momentary taste of freedom in the wild. But, I think she knew I was not happy. I also think she’ll understand why she’s never going to swim lessons again because she does, in fact, not like sitting in the front seat and “just being with us” while we run errands. She may be calm and collected for the Spouse, but she knows me. And, she likes to test me.
Her troubles aren’t limited to the car these days, though. December is just a hard month to be a dog because the temptations abound. Like last week when the girls made gingerbread houses. She came within inches of devouring this one.
And, then there’s always the problem of the ornaments and the characters near ground level.
A goldendoodle of the Lord appeared to them, and the hugeness of her mane overshadowed them, and they were filled with great fear.
But, the goldendoodle said, “Fear not, for behold, I’m only looking for a snack and you are made of plastic.”
“I shall leave you alone and go bother my master.”
I’m working hard on giving her more roaming time inside so she’ll settle and learn to be calm even off her leash. I really thought she was making some major strides until yesterday when I found her quietly munching on a cinnamon-scented pinecone she had retrieved from the top of the dining room table. Sigh. I know she’ll be a good dog one day. It’s just not going to be today… or this year for that matter.
Unrelated to Rosie… this is a conversation I overheard the girls having on the way to school yesterday:
4th Grader: When I grow up I think I want to have five daughters.
2nd Grader: Well, I’m probably only going to have one because too many kids is hectic.
Preschooler: I’M GOING TO HAVE ONE HUNDRED KIDS!!
I can’t think of a conversation that better sums up their personalities. We have a planner, a practical one, and a partier, in that order. It certainly keeps things entertaining.
It just makes gift-buying a little tricky because they are so very different. For this reason, I like to run ideas by the Spouse who has recently discovered the joys of sending animated responses back to my texts. Here’s the thing about this. At Christmastime, I’m a serious person. So, if I send a text asking a question about a gift idea, I don’t have time for fun and games. This is business, you know? But, this is the exact response I got back when I texted him earlier this week,
“Do you think ______ would like a _______? I’m trying to encourage more imaginative play.”
Such a serious, thoughtful response to my very serious, thoughtful question.
And then when I texted him yesterday asking him what was in the Amazon box he had delivered to the house, this is what I got back:
I’m telling you, ain’t nobody got time for this. In my heart of hearts I know these ridiculous responses are good for me in terms of brining my intensity down a few notches. But, Will Farrell is almost more than I can handle in December. For sure, the combination of him and Rosie would do most anyone in. So, the lesson here is that I need to make some executive decisions about gifts without seeking additional input… and I need to ask for some dog training DVD’s for Christmas.
If I remember correctly the 2nd grader is the one who said she would like to be a high school teacher–not a 2nd grade Teacher (because 2nd graders threw up all over). I hope your Credit Union will see the light, and have a Drive-Through! That’s the LEAST they can do! Merry Christmas to all !!
As always, your humor and insight never fail to brighten my day. Just glad Rosie doesn’t live in our house….
Bless you, my child. These are all treasured memories, even with the goldendoodle. I can relate to the stories about the girls and the dog, too. I have a goldendoodle nephew that I love to spoil. They are smart dogs and seem to intentionally plan their wild escapades. I would have one myself but I’m holding out for a dog that always takes care of its own bodily functions, so that I don’t have to see any of it. No luck finding that breed so far.