I have used the same hair dryer since I’ve been married… for over six years now. We have spent nearly every morning together, the Revlon and me. We’ve been through quite a lot… a wedding, two moves, travels near and far, the births of three children, reunions and special events, and many, many a hair crisis. The Revlon has seen me at my worst, and on a few rare occasions, she has blown me to my best. She has been quite the constant in my life. When the girls were born and I had to go from using her every morning to picking her up only once every three days or so, she didn’t give up on me. She was loyal, I tell you. Loyal, but sick.
Normally I don’t retire a hair dryer until it starts shooting flames. But last night when I went to dry the Preschooler’s hair, I plugged the faithful Revlon in, turned her on high, and she made the most alarming noise I have ever heard a household appliance make. It was a sound so shrill that the Spouse came flying upstairs to see if I had electrocuted the Preschooler or myself. Fortunately, neither was the case. What was the case, though, is that the Revlon breathed, or I guess I should say “blew,” her last blow. And, the Spouse ordered her to be trashed at once. {Clearly, he didn’t understand the emotional attachment I had to her}.
Apparently other people who had been around the Revlon in recent months must have noticed that she was on her last leg because I received a new Conair Infiniti for Christmas. She’s hot pink and has a fancy retractable cord. Something about the name Infiniti seems a little presumptuous to me, but I’m willing to give her a shot. She boasts “ionic technology that reduces static electricity and leaves hair silkier, shinier and more manageable than ever.”
Oh, really? We’ll see about that Infiniti.
I’m just not sure you know what you’re going to be dealing with quite yet. You’ve got your work cut out for you because you’re going to need to blow dry not one, but four heads of unruly hair {as soon as the Baby grows enough hair to need you.} And, you’re facing things like frizz, waves, sensitive scalps, people who run away from you during use. What are your ions and retractable cord going to think about that?
In light of the Revlon’s untimely demise, I have no choice but to give you a chance to prove yourself.
So, show us what you’ve got.
To Infiniti and beyond.
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