The “lost” laugh

The other night the 2nd Grader asked me a question that made me stop and think. I was drying her hair after her shower and she said, “Momma, why don’t you laugh much?”

What?? How can she think I don’t laugh? I laugh all the time. 

But, you know what? I don’t laugh with my kids that much.

When I think back over the past seven years, I have undoubtedly gotten more serious. As our family and my responsibilities have grown, I’ve grown a bit more intense. And, with each new season I’ve tightened the reigns on my ability to relax and just “be” in a moment… if I ever had that ability in the first place.

I can’t stand that my children view me as super serious. Stoic, even.

When I was in high school and college I loved nothing more than practical jokes. At one time I was in a joke war of sorts with a friend who listed my car for sale in the local paper at a phenomenal price. In retaliation I blew up a picture of her and had yard signs made to place in various places throughout the community advertising her housekeeping services and specialization in the removal of pet stains and odors.

I haven’t done it in quite awhile, but I love playing these sorts of games. One of my favorite things about the Spouse is that he makes me laugh. And, laughter is at the center of my closest friendships. My favorite movies have a heavy dose of humor. I like to laugh.

But, I have not prioritized doing this with my kids. Sure, I share funny stories about our days and outings on here. But, it’s as if my need to feel some sense of control as I try to maintain their safety and my sanity has taken its toll on my ability to actually enjoy the people around me in the moment that the funny is unfolding.

One of my favorite parenting books {the only one I’ve ever through to the end} is Sacred Parenting. And, in it Gary Thomas says this:

May it never be so.

I’m not sure how I can fix this over night. The pace of our life in this season is hectic. The girls are young. The Toddler is… well, wild. When I’m in the midst of a grocery store run with all three or trying to fix dinner while refereeing sibling squabbles, the chaos is far from funny. And, I struggle to find any balance between my need for some sense of order and calmness and their need to be children.

But, since I’ve been called out on this by a seven-year-old, I do hope I can become more conscious about letting go of a few things long enough to smile more with them. To laugh more with them.

This is something I thought about a few months ago when we embarked on the adventure of pet ownership. Of course, we had no idea what we were really getting into at the time. And, this dog drives me crazy. But, as much work as having a puppy may be, Rosie does her part to keep the mood light around here because she’s so effortlessly goofy.

Bless her. I’m afraid many more costumes are in her future.

When I’m not stressing out about the messes that are being made and the things they aren’t doing, the girls themselves can be equally entertaining.

Sometimes my favorite conversations with the older two are those we have in the car. On the way to school yesterday we had this one:

The 2nd Grader: I saw on the news that there was a huge blizzard in Boston.

The Kindergartener: How big was the lizard?

The 2nd Grader: No, no, no. I said a huge blizzard, not a lizard! And, anyway, it was in Boston, Texas.

It’s hard to say who was more misinformed. 

Regardless, it was funny. Kids in general are funny. And, I want mine to know a mom who doesn’t take them ~ or herself ~ too seriously.

Now… if I could just find a way to calmly count to ten and keep smiling while I deal with this one’s antics.