A few years ago when we first moved into the house we live in now {which was built in the late ’90’s}, we were eager to make some cosmetic changes and updates to the bathrooms and kitchen. At the time, the girls were ages 5, 3, and newborn. Looking back on that season in our lives, tasks like eating a meal or getting everyone in the car were challenging enough, so I have no idea why we attempted any home improvement or Pinterest-inspired projects. But, we did.
Do it yourself (DIY) is a term used to describe building, modifying, or repairing of something without the aid of experts or professionals. (Wikipedia)
We painted doors and trim. We updated knobs, towel bars, and robe hooks with ease. But, very early on, the scope of the projects began exceeding our abilities.
One area that needed attention and I felt sure we could handle on our own was our kitchen lighting. We have recessed {can} lighting, but the previous owners used bulbs with a wattage so high that the heat singed all the cans. So, I read up on this problem and decided the easiest fix would be to replace the cans with new can trim without interfering with the electrical wiring at all.
I found new trims pieces, came home and watched a YouTube video on changing out recessed lighting, and persuaded the Spouse that this “super simple” project wouldn’t take us him any time at all. Graciously {albeit somewhat begrudgingly}, the Spouse got out his ladder and toolbox and worked diligently for an hour or so switching the burnt cans out for the new cans. He unscrewed and tugged and pushed and twisted things for a long time and then announced he was finished if I wanted to come see the new and improved kitchen lighting.
The Spouse: OK. I’m done. What do you think?
In retrospect, this was probably not the best time for me to say: “Well, it’s better. But, why is there a little bit of light spilling out around the trim pieces? Don’t you think they’re supposed to be completely flush with the ceiling?”
A wiser approach would have been for me to remember that his love language is words of affirmation as opposed to words of nitpick. And, a more affirming, productive response might have been: “I love them!! They transform the whole room!!”
Instead, my anal retentive response led him to tweaking the cans. So, he twisted and pushed a little more until one of the new can pieces broke. And, at that point, in a season where sleep was rare and frustrations were running high, he yanked a can from the ceiling, jumped down off the ladder, and slammed his fist against the backside of one of our cabinets.
So, then we had a hole in the wall and dangling electrical parts for quite awhile:
As it turned out, the can trims I bought were not exactly compatible with the type of {older} cans we have in the kitchen. Therefore, getting them completely flush with the ceiling was impossible.
Four years later, we have repaired the hole in the wall with bead board and have long since learned to outsource lighting issues to a professional.
We learned several important lessons during the first year we lived here, including:
1) Don’t try to be something you’re not. In my case, this means don’t try to be a DIY person. Just because I watch Fixer Upper doesn’t mean I can actually fix anything up. Sometimes the Spouse has to remind me that Chip and Joanna Gaines are professionals with a team of other professionals at their disposal behind the scenes. We are, in contrast, not professionals. And, our “team” consists of three young girls who are more concerned about their next snack than the color of our kitchen cabinets.
2) Don’t drag your spouse into projects you can’t do yourself. Further, don’t use persuasion or threatening language {ex. “Fine, I’ll just do it myself!”} to get your way.
3) If you ignore rule #2 and do indeed drag your spouse into your project, don’t offer constructive criticism about the manner in which the project is carried out. Remember, if you can’t say something nice, say something nice anyway.
4) Don’t fall for the catchy tag lines used by big box stores promising things like: “You can do it. We can help.” I’m not so sure we can, and no they won’t… unless we’re willing to pay them… which is almost always worth doing.
So, we’ve come a long way in terms of our expectations. There are certainly days when I forget the lessons mentioned above, but most of the time I remember to limit how much HGTV I watch and save up to outsource projects that exceed our skill level.
But, over the weekend we had a little DIY victory that I need to document here. We have a blank wall in the dining room that makes the room feel a bit cold. For months I’ve been trying to figure out what we could put there be it a piece of art, a canvas, a piece of furniture, a mirror, etc. Recently, though, I saw these rustic wood shelves on the Ballard website and thought the middle one would be perfect for the room.
Unfortunately, it is $99 and on backorder.
After reading a few blogs posts and making a quick trip to Lowes, we had the supplies and the inspiration to make our own “rustic wood shelf.”
For obvious reasons, I’m not a DIY blogger, so I’ll spare you the boring details as to how we went about it. But, $26 and three days later, we have this on the wall:
Somehow, WE MADE IT OURSELVES.
We completed a successful DIY project with no yelling, no holes in the wall {except the ones we drilled there}, and no hard feelings. I can hardly believe it myself.
And, that’s what I call a super Tuesday!
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