We’ve not been getting much sleep around here lately. The 1st Grader has been sick with sinus congestion and a low-grade fever for a week now. For the past several nights the Spouse and I have taken turns helping her blow her nose and checking on her rapid breathing at different intervals. I’m hoping she will turn a corner with a new treatment plan today, but the lack of rest is taking its toll on the three of us.
For the past year or so as our kids have dealt with various sleep issues and on nights when I can’t seem to fall or stay asleep myself, I keep coming back to these verses in Psalm 121:
The one who watches over you will not slumber.
Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps.
Earlier this week I listened to a podcast where one of my favorite pastors was being interviewed. Part of what endears me to his teaching is his honesty about his struggles with anxiety and insomnia. He candidly shared how he can fall asleep for four hours or so every night before he wakes and struggles several more hours with restlessness and a racing mind. It sounds like misery, but his perseverance and hopefulness in the midst of what must be an exhausting way of life are somehow comforting.
Even more comforting, though, is remembering that no matter what our sleep problems may be, the Lord doesn’t need sleep at all. That superpower is almost incomprehensible. We never have to wake Him up with a concern and say, “Um, excuse me. I know you’re sleeping and you probably really need your rest since you’re carrying the weight of the whole world and all. But, do you have a second?” I appreciate how the Psalms remind us that God doesn’t hold office hours. We don’t annoy him at night.
This is especially good news since we aren’t new to sleep troubles. When the oldest two girls were babies we swaddled, we rocked, we walked, we drove {many, many miles}, we let them cry, we consoled at intervals… all to no avail. In retrospect, I know we made many rookie mistakes and didn’t stick to any one method of sleep training long enough to reap results. But after months of sleep deprivation, I couldn’t focus long enough to read the books and implement the tactics. Our goal was simply survival. And so, we did what worked in the moment. Carseats were our best friend.
When our youngest was a newborn she was a great sleeper. In fact, we were so shocked by the fact that she was sleeping through the night so early on that I distinctly remember Googling “11 week old sleeps 11 hours” just to make sure it wasn’t abnormal or dangerous. We had never seen anything like it. The tighter her burrito, the better she slept.
Unfortunately, by five months old the back of her head started to appear unusually flat.
Our middle one went through a two-year long period of coming into our room {anytime between midnight and 4 AM} and sleeping on a little pallet in the floor every night. Fortunately, it didn’t totally interrupt our sleep. But it wasn’t ideal.
In more recent years our troubles tend to be on the front end of bedtime. The girls occasionally take turns having trouble falling asleep. It doesn’t take much to get one or another off kilter. A trip. A virus. A long break from school. We’re just generally high maintenance in the sleep department.
So this week as we’re praying the 1st Grader’s fever will break and she’ll start feeling better soon, we aren’t the most tired we’ve ever been. We probably aren’t the most tired we’ll ever be. We know {at least we hope!} this is temporary. We’re just reminded what it feels like to function on way too few hours of shuteye.
It’s not pretty.
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