For the past few weeks one of the girls has been battling some anxiety about school and has come to the conclusion that it would be best if she didn’t go at all. The battle begins when she won’t get out of bed with claims that she doesn’t feel well, and it escalates as she refuses to eat breakfast or go through any of our regular morning motions. This has made for a lot of drama between 6:45 and 7:45 AM every weekday. There has been sympathizing, negotiating, bribing, yelling, and driving too fast to make up for lost time. To be specific, her anxiety centers around a fear of getting sick at school. This may sound irrational, but she has witnessed it happen to a few friends of hers and she’d rather spare herself the possibility of such an embarrassment by avoiding school altogether. Typically by lunch time she seems to have moved on from the anxiety and can enjoy her day. We’re just scratching our heads as to what we can do to reassure her and get our mornings back on track.
Truthfully, when I think about this struggle I have to remind myself that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I’m a bit of a germaphobe and will admit that contracting the stomach bug is easily one of my top five fears. So, it’s possible I have unwittingly passed this anxiety onto her. She has just allowed a concern to become an obsession, and I feel helpless to help her.
This is my tenth autumn season as a parent. Every few days a new memory pops up on Facebook with pictures from a pumpkin patch outing or some other fall festivity from years past.
If only I could maintain that mature perspective when I’m losing my mind and my temper with a certain child at 7:30 every single day.
Truly, fall break and the chance to reset can’t get here fast enough. But, once it does that means fall birthdays and Halloween are almost upon us. For the past several years we’ve done some sort of family theme for Halloween, so the girls are in the mode of throwing out ideas as to what we could dress up as this year. I’m noticing a trend, though, in their suggestions. I’m always the villain. I’ve heard things like, “Oh, I know! We can be the Dalmatians and you can be Cruella!” Or, “We’ll be the fairies from Sleeping Beauty, and you can be Maleficent!” And, my personal favorite, “We’ll be mermaids, Daddy can be King Tritan, and you can be Ursula, the sea witch!” Have you seen Ursula? I’m obviously highly revered around here.
Speaking of dressing up… Last Sunday I had a meeting at church an hour before the service started. So, the Spouse got the girls dressed and ready on his own. I’ll be the first to tell you our Sunday mornings aren’t pretty. There is weeping and gnashing of teeth over everything from what we eat for breakfast as to why one has to wear “that dress” when someone else gets to wear “a fancier dress.” Missing hair bows and shoes only complicate matters. So, I was so proud of my whole crew for getting themselves there on Sunday happily and on time. During the first worship set, though, I glanced over at the 2nd Grader’s dress and thought something looked a little off about it. Upon closer inspection, I noticed a tag hanging out the front of it and realized her whole dress was on backwards. The Spouse whispered that he thought it looked a little formal with all those buttons going up the front but assumed it was just some new style. No, no it is not. Later he also told me that when everyone had gotten loaded into the van to head to church the Preschooler sighed and said, “My nerves are shot.”
I have no idea where she’s heard that before. All I know is, mine feel the same way every Sunday.
Holly, I even begin to tell you how much I love reading your post. As mommas we often feel lik we are alone in this everyday battle but we aren’t. We just have to dit and have coffee with other mommas and laugh about how our morning was or how the evening before was. This season seems long and hard but as we look back we will remember the hard times but we will cherish those precious memories. Thank you for sharing and being a “real” momma.
It’s great to hear from you, Whitney. And, you’re so right about it being a battle we’re all in together. Thanks for the encouragement!