Safe and sound(s)

Yes, Fisher-Price “Laugh and Learn” Purse, I’m looking at you. Don’t be fooled by its sweet coloring and giddy smile. Because sometimes late at night when the house is quiet, this little purse makes intermittent zipping and laughing noises without warning or reason. In fact, earlier this week I was convinced an intruder was lurking outside our window or somewhere inside our house repeatedly making strange sounds to lure us into a state of confusion before making his or her attack. We checked on the girls, we looked outside, we checked out back. Fortunately, I eventually saw this purse in a corner of our bedroom and connected the dots between the mystery sounds and that little yellow zipper you see on the front. 

In the event the strange noises had been a real intruder, though, I would have had no reason to worry. And, that’s because we’re armed. Now I don’t mean to get all political, but I believe in the right to protect oneself. And, in the event of an emergency the Spouse has to look no further than under his side of the bed where he keeps this little bat.  

And, by little I mean replica of a real bat. 

So, criminals beware. We have a souvenir bat. And, we’re not afraid to use it.

In other insignificant news, the Toddler isn’t really cut out for spending days on end in the confines of our house as we have done this week. Boredom spawns all sorts of creativity in her, some of which is nothing short of extremely dangerous. I don’t mind her toting her chair around to play with light switches. 

But, yesterday I caught her standing on this same chair in the kitchen attempting to play with a 16-piece knife block set. This wasn’t long after I found her very quietly trying to eat frozen fish sticks she had retrieved from the freezer after I forbid her to eat an ice cream sandwich before dinner. And, the day before she was found applying a glue stick {liberally} to her forehead as if it were sunscreen moments after she was turned in by the Preschooler for trying to swallow the tiny remote control from Barbie’s dream house. 

I’m so grateful for her exuberance for life and her “carpe diem” attitude. But, she is short. She is fast. And, she is very busy. And, I just need a continual drip of caffeine… or a couple of clones to keep up with her brand of fun and games.