When we bought our house a few months ago, we knew that it would need some minor work to usher it out of the mid-90’s and into 2012. Mostly, it needs cosmetic updates. So, over the next several months {or years}, we’d like to change out the shiny brass doorknobs and dated fixtures… one room at a time.
One area, though, that is in need of some fairly immediate attention is our kitchen lighting. We have recessed {can} lighting, but the previous owners used bulbs with a wattage so high that the heat singed all the cans. So, I read up on this problem and concluded that we could simply replace the cans with new can trim without interfering with the electrical wiring at all.
You can imagine how excited I was, then, when we were perusing a big box home improvement store one recent Saturday afternoon, and I saw some can trims with an oil-rubbed bronze finish. And, they were on clearance. Clearly, this was some sort of divine sign that we were supposed to buy these specific trims. They all but fell out of the heavens and into our shopping cart.
We got home and I watched a YouTube video on changing out recessed lighting and decided that it was so easy that we could surely do it ourselves in a matter of minutes. After some pleading, I convinced the Spouse that this would be “super simple” and would save us a lot of money if we just rolled our own sleeves up and knocked this project out.
Graciously {albeit somewhat begrudgingly}, the Spouse got out his ladder and toolbox and worked diligently for an hour or so on switching the burnt cans out for the new cans. He unscrewed and tugged and pushed and twisted things for a good long time and then announced that he was finished if I wanted to come see the new and improved kitchen lighting.
The Spouse: OK. I’m done. What do you think?
In retrospect, this was probably not the best time for me to say: “Well, it’s better. But, why is there a little bit of light spilling out around the trim pieces? Don’t you think they’re supposed to be completely flush with the ceiling?”
Sometimes, you see, I forget that his love language is words of affirmation. Not words of nitpick. And, in this particular moment I should have definitely gone with words of affirmation. Something along the lines of… “I love them!! They transform the whole room!! I love them, I love them, I love them!!”
But, instead, I was my anal-retentive self and had to imply that the cans needed some tweaking. So, the Spouse twisted and pushed a little more until one of the new can pieces broke. And, at that point, in a moment of extreme {and justifiable} frustration, he yanked a can from the ceiling, jumped down off the ladder, and slammed his fist against the backside of one of our cabinets…
Resulting in this…
As it turns out, the can trims we bought are not exactly compatible with the type of {older} cans we have in the kitchen. Therefore, getting them completely flush with the ceiling is impossible.
Fortunately, this can all be fixed. Not by us, necessarily, but it can all be fixed. And, now that this is a few weeks behind us, we can see the humor in our DIY debacle. The dangling can light and the crack in the cabinet continue to serve as subtle reminders that we best just save up and put our kitchen lighting issues in the hands of a professional… or at least in the hands of someone more patient than either of us.
I think the lesson I have learned here is multifold:
1) Don’t try to be something you’re not. In my case, this means don’t try to be a DIY person. Just because I read a few renovation and remodeling blogs and watch a little HGTV does NOT mean I have skills. {I liken my problem to someone who watches a show on Discovery Health and then decides she can perform an appendectomy}.
2) Don’t drag your spouse into projects you can’t do yourself. Further, don’t use persuasion or threatening language {ex. “Fine, I’ll just do it myself!”} to get your way.
3) If you ignore rule #2 and do indeed drag your spouse into your project, don’t offer constructive criticism about the manner in which the project is carried out. Remember, if you can’t say something nice, say something nice anyway.
4) Don’t believe the catchy little Home Depot slogan of years past… “You can do it. We can help.” No we can’t, and no they won’t… unless we’re willing to pay them.
5) The above also goes for Lowe’s tagline… “Let’s build something together.” I think we better not.
6) Acknowledge that when the majority of the people who live in your house are 5 or younger, maybe it’s not the best season for you to jump into projects that require you to watch video tutorials and be undistracted for long periods of time. Because that’s not going to happen.
7) Though I would argue that proper lighting goes a long way… one must remember that it’s the people who live in the house, not the lights in the kitchen, that make a house a home.
So, for now, I think it might be a better use of my time if I focused all of my DIY energies on catching up with the laundry and doing some housecleaning. This won’t be near as exciting, but it will be much, much safer…
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