On being a belle

When I was in graduate school we were required to take a class called Spiritual Formation. For some reason, I thought this would be a fun one to take my first semester, so I signed up with a very misguided sense of excitement about all we would learn about this fascinating topic. Little did I know it was a class primarily about self-exploration. Yuck. I could tell within ten minutes of the first class meeting that we were going to have to write about and talk {out loud!} about all sorts of personal things… our families of origin, our church experience, our salvation experience, our thoughts on God, our successes, our failures, our dreams, our fears, etc. The introvert in me cringed, and I nearly withdrew after reading through the syllabus that first day. But, I needed the credit for this class. So, I stuck with it and thought I was sailing along fairly smoothly until the mandatory mid-term conference with the professor came along.

I’ll never forget the way he summed me up on that day. This is what he said, in a nutshell… “Basically, Hollie, I think you’re a good Southern belle.”

Being the Southerner that I am, I would normally take this to be a compliment of the highest form. But, I can assure you this man meant it as anything but such.

He went on… “Southern belles are syrupy. They’re polite and sweet. They know how to put their best face forward. They’re good at image maintenance. But, you know, they’re not very authentic. And, I want to know the real you.”

My immediate mental reaction was one of, “Who does this eccentric man think he is? Not only has he insulted me personally, but he’s essentially insulting the entire Southern culture. Some nerve! I’ll show him a Southern belle as I walk right out of here and politely drop this class.”

Alas, I did not.

In fact, I started thinking about what he had said {albeit in very blunt fashion}, and I began wondering if there might be some hint of truth to it. And, so in time, I started writing my papers with a little more transparency, and I slowly started sharing with a bit more vulnerability. And, though I never became that person who jumps at the opportunity to share a personal story with a room full of people, I think I became a more authentic version of myself all because this man who I found completely insulting and unnecessarily emotional challenged me on something. By my third year there, I liked him. And, I valued his opinion.

All this to say…

To this day, I remain Southern. I think I remain, for the most part, polite and sweet {though my family may take issue with that assessment}.

I just sure hope I’m more authentic than your stereotypical Southern belle.

I’ve been talking to the Spouse about why I have a blog and what my purpose is for writing here. And, this is what it always comes back around to: I write because I enjoy writing. I do it in the form of a blog because it helps me consistently chronicle our family stories for our children. And, I write to stay connected with family and friends. I’m always humbled when someone says they read this stuff, and if it entertains or encourages anyone along the way… I’m so, so glad. This is my hobby. I love it. And, I love having a little bitty community to share it with here.

So, if you visit here by way of the web, you’ll notice that I’ve done a little redesign to Suburban Shalom. Actually, someone with far more technical skill than I possess named Danielle Moss did it. And, for her time and talent, I’m very grateful.

For a long time I’ve wanted to clean this space up a bit. So, I’ve de-cluttered and added some new pictures and new pages. It’s still a work-in-progress, but I’m excited to have a new look.

I’ve removed the “Followers” information because that shouldn’t matter. I’ve removed the advertisements because that’s not why I do this. I’ve added an “About Me” page because I wanted a huge picture from our wedding on here to remind me how young and rested I looked in 2005. And, I added a “Store” button {which links to a new Etsy site} because I make cards and such and should really try to sell them here and there. Again, a work-in-progress.

But, all this is just a face-lift, a new cover for the same old book. Anyone can choose a few pictures and a fancy font for their “cover.” But, let it be known that this recovering Southern belle knows it’s what’s on the inside that matters.