May madness

When I was growing up I faced one of my biggest fears each spring when recital season would roll around. I can remember the knot in my stomach just before I would have to sit down at the piano and play my memorized pieces with shaky hands in front of a small audience of parents and friends. Ironically, I’m now the one telling my own children that things of this sort are no big deal. I know it’s a lie, but I have to sound like I have some degree of wisdom since I’m now the “mature one” in these situations.

The 3rd Grader has inherited all of my performance anxieties and therefore has zero interest in attending – let alone performing in – her recital. But, after some coercion and threatening she agreed to play one jazzy number, “Grandma’s Ginger Cookies,” for us and a few others last night. She forbids videography and paparazzi, but she agreed to a post-performance picture.

Since it’s May and all the activities have to happen simultaneously {literally all in the same week}, tonight also begins a long weekend of dance recitals for the 5th Grader. This will be her first time to dance in a theatre setting, so she’s both nervous and excited. I didn’t grow up dancing, so I’m anxious to see her do her thing. If there’s any advantage to your children having absolutely no overlap in their interests and activities, it’s that spring is never boring!

While she doesn’t have any performances going on this week, the Kindergartener has her mind on royal matrimony. This was our conversation when I was watering plants a few nights ago:

Kindergartener: Does the Queen of England have a son?
Me: Yes.
Kindergartener: Is he married?
Me: He is.
Kindergartener: Darn! I was hoping to marry him so I could be a princess.
Me: Well, he’s way too old but maybe you can hold out and marry his grandson and become a princess that way.

She liked this idea until she learned Prince George is only 4 years old and still in preschool. You can just imagine the embarrassment of being seen with a preschooler when you’re in KINDERGARTEN! Hopefully she will come to her senses and realize it might be worth it to look past the age difference when a tiara is at stake.

Also happening this weekend is, of course, Mother’s Day, which can stir up all kinds of emotions. One of my favorite writers of all time, the late Erma Bombeck, opened her book If Life is a Bowl of Cherries–What Am I Doing in the Pits?, with this line: “I’ve always worried a lot and frankly I’m good at it.” I relate with those words all too well. I’m good at worrying. And, perhaps nothing makes me worry more than my role as a mother.

To be clear, it’s not that I worry about whether or not I’m messing up in this role. I know for sure that I am. I just hope there’s enough grace to cover those mistakes. My prayer from day one of our parenting journey has been that God will make good on His promise that his “power is made perfect in weakness.” On my worst days I doubt this truth. But on my best days, I want to wholeheartedly believe in that kind of grace.

I’ll close with my favorite drawing of the week created by the Kindergartener. She made a little book about things we do together. One of the lines was something along the lines of, “My momma is nice.” I think everyone in my family would agree that “Momma” is only nice a small percentage of the time. Momma is not nice if she’s tired, hungry, stressed out, frustrated, late, etc. That’s another area where we have to hope a lot of grace comes into play. But, this statement is true ALL of the time: