One thing I’ve noticed about parenting is that children can serve as great mirrors for viewing your own vices. I see so many of my own quirks and weaknesses surface in their little personalities… impatience, a hot temper, stubbornness, etc. I know children can also mirror our strengths, but somehow the vices seem easier to spot!
Right now, the Preschooler is going through what I hope is only a phase where she needs to be “first” at everything. From who goes down the stairs first to who gets in the car first to who gets their cereal first, she makes most everything into a competition that she must win. It could drive a person nuts. Now, I don’t think my competitive spirit comes out in quite the same way as an adult. I don’t vie to beat the Spouse to the shower in the morning or race him downstairs to get the first cup of coffee. But, I vaguely remember being competitive with my own siblings as a child. I have distant, foggy memories of being exceptionally bossy and authoritative with both of them. And, lest I ever forget that I was less than servant-hearted as a child, my mother is ever willing to remind me with specific examples of behaviors that might resemble some the Preschooler exhibits now. It’s humbling to see it acted out before me.
Along those same lines, it’s also been brought to my attention {by the girls} that I need to watch what I say more closely. Last week the Toddler dropped a toy and without skipping a beat said in a frustrated tone, “Dang it!!” … It could be much worse, but I’d still prefer that my 2-year old not say “dang” every time she drops something…
The Toddler has also come up with a new word she uses when she’s trying to insult someone. Instead of saying something like, “You monster!” or “You bully!” her insult is to say, “You Goldilocks!” We have no idea why she has such negative feelings toward Goldilocks… maybe because Goldi was technically a criminal {trespassing, breaking and entering, etc.}. But, we know that whenever we hear her yelling that word it’s our cue that a fight is about to break out between her and the Preschooler.
The Toddler is also fond of using manipulative language when she’s in the heat of an argument. I have no idea where she has learned this technique {wink}. For example, whenever she gets mad at the Spouse about something he has done or will not do for her, she gets up in his face, furrows her brow, and says slowly and loudly, “You a bad guy.” Or, if it’s me she’s upset with, “You a bad mommy.” And, most recently she’s even used this one on my mom, “You a bad mimi.” Where does a 2-year old learn this stuff?
I’ve decided that children are incredibly perceptive. And, they don’t miss much… verbal or non-verbal… they’re soaking it all up.
We have a CD that we listen to in the car that has a song on it called Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes. I had never heard it until recently, but the tune is annoyingly catchy and gets stuck in my head from time to time. It goes like this:
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see.
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see.
For the Father up above is looking down in love,
So be careful little eyes what you see.
And, the other verses go on to say:
Be careful little ears what you hear…
Be careful little mouth what you say…
Be careful little hands what you touch…
Be careful little feet where you go…
My eyes and ears and mouth and hands and feet are all much bigger now, but I think there’s probably a lot of wisdom in that little song for me, too. The “Father up above” isn’t the only one who’s looking and listening…
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