Fancy and "fashionated"

Last weekend the girls went to a Father-Daughter Valentine’s dance held at the church where the Preschooler attends preschool. This was the first time the Spouse had ever taken all three, and I’m not sure they could have been any more excited about a mid-winter occasion to dress up. I think the Preschooler best summed up their feelings by declaring, “I want to be fancy and fashionated!”

I mistakingly thought I could pick out their dresses on my own while they were in school. But, they weren’t pleased with my selections, so I hauled them back to the mall to let them shop for themselves on Friday evening. Let me just say, I will not be doing that again without backup. The Preschooler wanted a dress that touched the floor and had a cape. Since we were in a department store and not a costume store, she had to settle for something more practical. The other two tried on many, many options before making their decisions. And, I ruled out many, many dresses before we ever made it to the fitting room. Apparently, we’re no longer in the stage where I can choose something I think is cute and expect everyone to happily cooperate with my selections. I’m afraid strong opinions on everything from their clothing to their hairstyles are here to stay. Help me.

I think what makes father-daughter events of this nature so special is that all the girls who are there (be that with a father or a grandfather)… are there with someone who loves them with a pure and unconditional love. And, they know that. They revel in that. In fact, the Preschooler told me she was going to “marry her daddy” that evening. And, the older two wanted their dresses to be a surprise to the Spouse until they were ready to put them on that night. It’s amazing to see how excited they are to dress up and be affirmed in their beauty and significance by someone they already know loves them. Every little girl deserves to feel that way and have that experience. If only their confidence on a night like that could be bottled up for all the years to come.

As the mom of three girls I worry a lot. {In all honesty, I did my share of worrying before I ever became a mom}. But, now I feel more justified in my fretting because I see the world through the lens of three young daughters I want to protect and shield from its insults and lies. I want them to feel fancy and “fashionated” and special and loved forever, no matter what they perceive the world to be telling them. And, that’s not a simple wish. It’s more a battle to be fought and a truth to be taught… on a daily basis.    

The 3rd Grader turns nine years old this Friday. NINE. And, I sense we’re entering into the years where the opinions of others carry more and more weight. This year her birthday wish list includes things like jewelry and boot socks rather than princess dresses and baby dolls. For the first time ever, I’ve had to consult her for ideas for her birthday rather than just perusing the toy aisle and feeling certain I could find something she would love. This makes me a bit sad, but it also makes me excited to see her maturing and to think about the opportunities that gives us for deeper conversation and shared experiences. I just hope I can rise to the task of parenting a nine year old… specifically one who likes to bake and sew, two areas of extreme weakness on my part.