It’s hard to be 2…

Watching a two-year old learn to deal with her emotions and navigate through her day is a fascinating study in human development. Toddler 2 hit the infamous “terrible 2’s” a little early, so we’re kind of used to the intensity at this point. But, it never fails to amaze us just how dramatic her version of drama can be. At least once a day she throws what we call a “silent fit.” These are meltdowns that last from about 2-5 minutes and involve lots of throwing and pouting and hostile behavior… but little, if any, noise. Seeing one in action is kind of like watching an angry mime. And, as long as we’re in the privacy of our own home, they’re pretty entertaining. Here’s a clip of one from last week (and, no, I don’t always record these or allow Toddler 1 to do her joker laugh and provide commentary throughout one):

Of course, Toddler 2 is also quite capable of throwing a good and loud, more typical temper tantrum. In fact, we had one of those tonight at one of our favorite family restaurants, Crack-a-Bell (aka Cracker Barrel). Now I know the temperature took a sudden dive this weekend, but I still wasn’t ready for the fire to be at full blaze in the dining area. As if the Country Store isn’t distracting enough, this made matters worse. Not only was Toddler 1 so traumatized by the scene in Toy Story 2 involving a fire and a trash incinerator that she refused to walk through the dining area without closing her eyes and being held and consoled, but Toddler 2 is obsessed with fire and repeatedly screamed to go see it throughout the meal. She was then quickly frustrated by that maddening little peg game and promptly dumped her set all over the floor. This was just prior to her dispersing her biscuit and cheese, one tiny pinch at a time, on the floor. Yes, we’re the family you hope the hostess seats on the other side of the lattice.

Here’s my observation about all this madness: I think there’s a little bit of a 2-year old in all of us. You can pretty much describe the behavior of a young toddler as this: life unfiltered… and with no real sense of social inhibition. Even as an adult, isn’t it sometimes tempting to live this way…

• You’re at a restaurant (or at home) and you don’t like the food you’re being served, so you gag, shiver, spit it out, and cry.
• You’re feeling a little annoyed or upset with your spouse, friend, or co-worker… so you just bite them. Or, you bite the couch.  Or, better yet, you bite yourself. It’s much more dramatic.
• You’re feeling tired and a little grouchy at home, at work, at school, at Target… so you grab your blanket and throw yourself out on the floor.
• You’re in the car, or in a restaurant, or at your job and you don’t care for the music being played in the background, so you stand up in your seat and demand that the CD be changed to Silly Songs with Bob and Larry, your current favorite.
• You don’t feel like going to the ball game with your spouse or to the wedding with your girlfriend, so you arch your back, stiffen your legs, and refuse to get out of the car.
• You want a drink of juice but you realize you’re all out, so you lay prostrate on the floor with one leg raised up in the air behind your body until someone takes notice of your displeasure.
• You’re riding down the road as a passenger in a car and realize you’d rather go a different direction or touch something you see along the side of the road, so you remove your seatbelt and threaten to throw yourself from the moving vehicle until the driver stops. (This doesn’t happen in our car, but it happens in store buggies at least once a week).

See, isn’t it just a little tempting to live like this? Especially on a Monday.

I think it’s absolutely amazing how much processing must be going on in the little minds of toddlers. They have so much to learn and yet so few coping skills with which to manage all that sensory stimulation and new information being hurled their way. It’s a tough life. For them… and their caregivers. (Insert a prayer of thanksgiving for MDO and preschool teachers here).

Maybe the “terrible two’s” are just as challenging and stressful for the 2-year old as they are for the parent. I’m going to try and remember that this week and see if that stirs up more empathy in me. And, I’m going to keep thinking of things I’d like to do if I wasn’t expected to behave like an adult. Try it. It’s a fun game 🙂