Impostor!

Both of my girls have an attachment to a stuffed animal or blankie. Toddler 1 has her beloved “Lambie,” and Toddler 2 has “Doggie.” (Aren’t we so creative with names around here?!) When Toddler 1 was a baby and first formed her “Lambie” attachment, I realized how imperative it was that we have a back-up to prevent a major meltdown and weeks worth of sleepless nights in the event of misplacing or (heaven forbid!) losing her beloved lamb. So, I simply bought an identical lamb that has proven interchangeable with the original, and all has been well.

But, then, there is Toddler 2. When she formed her attachment to the dog, I determined to buy her a back-up as well. So, I went to the store to make my savvy purchase. However, it seems that the manufacturer of “Doggie” decided to make some subtle “improvements” to their design and have added both a rattle feature to the head and a velcro closure option to the right paw (to hold a pacifier, I suppose). I’m sure these would be lovely features to a novice purchaser of “Doggie.” But, to one who is familiar with the original, this is pure madness. Remember the new Coke of the 80’s… Why would one ever tamper with a perfectly fine product?!

With “Doggie” becoming dirtier by the day, I desperately purchased new “Doggie” and hoped to dupe Toddler 2 into believing this would be a suitable if not better companion when the original was unavailable. Oh, the naivete. Upon her first introduction to “Doggie 2” she grabbed it around it’s neck, shook it a bit to notice that it now rattled, rubbed it across her face to notice its tiny patch of velcro, and promptly threw it across the room demanding the real “Doggie.” It was as if she took one look at it and immediately declared it a mere impostor. How dare we try such a scheme!

In my persistence and determination to make this work, I suggested to the spouse that we try to switch the dogs out under the cover of night when Toddler 2 would be less suspecting. So, the opportunity arose one night at 3 AM, and we enacted the plan. Upon being handed “Doggie 2,” she promptly tossed him from the crib, and I could not believe what I was hearing through the monitor when she forcefully demanded “DOGGIE!” (as in, the real one). She even knows an impostor in pitch black conditions and while drowsy and disoriented. Mission failed… as have repeated attempts to convince her of the cuteness and cuddliness of our new plush friend.

So, today I will be performing laparoscopic surgery on “Doggie 2” to both remove a rattle from his head and a velcro patch from his arm. Generally, I’m fairly confident with a pen and paper, but please don’t hand me scissors and/or a needle. This should be interesting.

Suggestions welcome!

To be continued…