I love how January always feels like the first page of a new journal. Of course there are circumstances and outcomes we can’t control, but we at least have the opportunity to write new lines and craft some new stories. Maybe it stems from perfectionism or an underlying fear of failure, but I have never been good about making or keeping resolutions. This year, though, I want to have a few stated goals in mind to serve as reminders and inspiration when I look ahead at the days and weeks on a freshly hung calendar.
Be present.
Over the holiday break we watched a ton of videos that the Spouse and I had recorded on our phones during these past several years. The extra slow evenings between Christmas and New Years gave us a chance to catch up on these snippets of everyday life from eight and nine years ago that none of us had seen before.
As we were watching these videos it occurred to me that we have lived in the house we are in now for seven years. And when I think about the significance of all the life that has happened in seven years time it blows me away. Our oldest was almost five when we moved here, and she will turn 12 this winter. Those seven years are her elementary career and the bulk of her childhood. Most of the time as we are going through our days and weeks I don’t think about the passing of time. I just get through the next thing on the day’s agenda. Feed the kids. Get the kids to school. Take the kids to all the activities. Feed the kids again. Put the kids to bed. And so on. But watching videos from 2012 that somehow feel like yesterday reminds me that these are the actual days of our lives. And these little moments of a baby taking her first steps, the girls meeting the neighbor’s new dog, snow day sledding in the front yard, dancing in the den during the Olympics… they quickly add up to seven years.
It’s a reality check I need ever so often. And there’s no better time for one than January.
Laugh more.
I have no problem laughing at old videos. So much of parenting is amusing after the fact. But I have a hard time laughing in the moment because I take everything so seriously, particularly if it relates to the girls.
Fortunately, the Spouse is always up for providing comic relief during the holidays. In mid-December a close friend of ours opened a retail store in the mall that sells professional sports paraphernalia. I want to support him in this endeavor, but I don’t personally have a need for a lot of pro sports gear since I don’t even know which team name goes with which sport. We stopped by the new store one evening and I bought an item for our nephew. But later that week I saw the Spouse putting another bag from the store in his secret hideout spot for gifts, and I knew then that this wasn’t going to end well. I’m the only one who does the serious shopping in this family.
Fast-forward to Christmas morning when the Spouse was excited for me to open a trio of presents from him. A new UT shirt, a Charlotte Panthers ornament, and a pair of Charlotte Panthers team socks.
Me: Um, can you explain this please?
Him: Well, you needed a new Tennessee shirt to go with your checkerboard leggings.
Me: I’m pretty sure nothing goes with those leggings, but OK. And the socks??
Him: Well, we went to Charlotte this fall, so I thought they could remind you of our trip.
Me: But we went there to see Hamilton; we didn’t even go to a Panthers game.
Him: Yeah, but we drove by the stadium.
Me: The ornament??
Him: It goes with the socks.
Do you see what I’m dealing with here? I’m dealing with nonsense. Pictured below is an assortment of gifts I’ve received for recent Christmases.
My hobbies are reading, writing, drinking coffee, and visiting new places. These gifts imply: football fanatic.
Oh, well. The Bible says God loves a cheerful giver. And if nothing else, the Spouse was delighted to both buy and give all these gifts. I will try to find some use for the gray and blue socks. And maybe someday… perhaps for the basketball team instead of our football team, I will wear the leggings to show my undying love for Tennessee athletics. Regardless, I hope that every time I open my drawer and see any of these items I might remember to take myself—and the holidays—a little less seriously.
Norman Cousins once said, “Hearty laughter is a good way to jog internally without having to go outdoors.” I love that quote. But, ironically, my other goal is to:
Get outside more often.
Over the break we had a few days of nice weather that beckoned us outside. Even though one child had a total meltdown and another one announced, “I hate nature. It’s gross and muddy!,” we pushed through the resistance and took a short hike on New Years Day and ventured to a new waterfall last weekend.
I’ll never be as prepared as the 1st Grader who came with sunglasses, binoculars, a camera, a walkie talkie, a granola bar, a notepad and pen, and a microscope hanging out of her backpack.
But I can still go out. This is one thing dog ownership has forced me to think about. Rosie lives to go on a walk. It doesn’t matter to her if it’s 10 degrees or 100 degrees outside, she just loves an opportunity to prance around and see what’s going on out there. So many days I dread taking her on a walk because it is rainy or windy or chilly and overcast. But once I force myself up and out, I never regret going. And I notice things I would never notice from the vantage point of the car or a window inside the house. Flowers, clouds, sounds, the smell of grass and leaves, birds, squirrels {because we chase ALL of them}, neighbors. Maybe dogs have something to teach us about the importance of a daily walk. And maybe I will go out there with less dread and more anticipation this year.
Here’s to a happy new year for you. May it be full of more presence, laughter, nature… or whatever else makes you come alive!
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