FaceTime

This week my middle daughter’s 5th grade class is having a technology-free week at school. They’re discussing how technology is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. On Monday they had “FaceTime” where they paired up with a partner, sat up straight, looked him/her in the eye, and discussed what each of them did over the weekend. Yesterday and today they are having “Twitter Time” where they “tweet” a handwritten compliment or word of encouragement onto a piece of paper for each one of their classmates.

I was telling The Spouse about what the 5th grade is doing this week (since only one of us reads the school emails) and he said, “So basically, they’re learning how to be human?”

I suppose that’s exactly what they’re doing. And surprisingly, it’s been one of my technology-loving 5th Grader’s favorite weeks of the year. This tells me something about her, about our collective over-dependence on technology, and about our deepest needs as people.

The conference I went to last week was, in many ways, informative and inspiring. At events of this nature the resounding theme at the keynotes and in the breakout sessions is this: you have a story to tell, a message your readers need to hear, go forth and share. That’s empowering and encouraging.

But conferences like this particular one that are designed for “influencers” also place emphasis on platform and publicity. Many attendees walk around taking selfies or live-streaming their observations on their phones. There are rooms set up where you can have a professional headshot taken between sessions or purchase software to produce high-quality podcasts at home. Even on the writing track, which is where I camped out the whole weekend, there is much talk about the importance of assertively using technology to build a platform or grow an audience who reads your work.

At the end of the day, what they call “reach” (i.e. numbers) matter a lot. If you want to write a book or be successful in this industry, you need to establish proof of a sizable following. Therefore I need a headshot, a newsletter, a fancier website, and 5000 email subscribers. Stat.

So I come away a bit unsure as to how to reconcile what I feel like is a call to go small (to pour into my real-life relationships with family, friends, and neighbors) and the call to be productive (to write for a larger audience).

My friend observed last week that I do this writing thing a little differently than many at the conference. I write primarily for people I know: family, friends, and casual acquaintances. Most people who write books or who write for pay are writing for people they do not actually know. The audience is often strangers on the internet. Kindred spirits, perhaps, but not necessarily people they are likely to engage with in real-life.

What to do, what to do?

2019 is a confusing time to be alive. On one hand we have the luxuries and conveniences of incredible technologies that make us feel connected and well-informed. On the other hand many of those very technologies leave us feeling less than, left out, and lonely. Technology can simultaneously remind us we are not alone and that we are somewhat insignificant.

Maybe we all need to take a cue from the 5th grade and think about the health of our relationships with the technology we hold most dear. I know I do. And I suspect that being intentionally present to the people around me might be the best place to start.

This weekend the Mr. Rogers film, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, comes out in theaters. If anyone had a good grasp on being present and going small while making a significant difference in the world, it was Fred Rogers. So it feels fitting to close with some of his words:

“As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is… It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression.”

“We get so wrapped up in numbers in our society. The most important thing is that we are able to be one-to-one, you and I with each other at the moment. If we can be present to the moment with the person that we happen to be with, that’s what’s important.”

Fred Rogers

That sounds strangely like some 5th grade Twittering and FaceTime. Important indeed.