The Dangers of Inflatables

I didn’t realize until over the weekend the significance of the waiver one must sign before playing at any of the bouncy, inflatable-filled places we have around town. On Friday night our crew headed to one such place to release some surplus energy. Now normally when we go to these fun-filled facilities, the Spouse bounces and slides and runs around with Toddler 1 while I supervise Toddler 2 on the ground (who is still so afraid of the noisy fans that keep everything inflated that she won’t go near the actual inflatables).

But, on this night, the Spouse was enjoying a much needed guys night out, which left me with no option but to actually participate in the American Gladiator style fun with Toddler 1. All was well, and I was even impressing myself with my overall athleticism until we got to the jumbo slide. Having never been one to like the feeling of having my stomach thrust into my throat on roller coasters or “thrill” rides of any sort, I don’t particularly enjoy vertical drops that simulate that rush. I know I’m a total wimp and most adults who have been down these particular slides would be less than impressed with their speed, but it’s all about perspective. And, to me, it’s way too steep and way too fast.

Regardless, at Toddler 1’s insistence, I went down the giant slide time and time again until incurring the injury that abruptly ended my fondness for inflatables.

Did you know that attempting to slow yourself with the back of your arm while accelerating down a vinyl slide at 30-MPH can result in a 3rd-degree burn? Let me assure you that it can. And, the sting is so unpleasant that it will make you want to yell words much uglier than you’ll be able to in the presence of preschoolers.

So, here is my take-away lesson:

1. Always dress properly when anticipating participation in any sort of inflatable fun: long sleeves, long pants or leggings, socks, and gloves. All skin should be covered. (Yes, you may sweat. But, you’ll thank me later).
2. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, attempt to use any uncovered body part as a brake when accelerating down an inflatable slide or other such vinyl apparatus.
3. In the event that you do not or cannot follow rules 1 and 2… Do not go to the aforementioned inflatable places without taking along a well-stocked first-aid kit to include large bandages and antibiotic creme.

Thanks for reading, and have a good day.