I was sitting at a middle school track meet last night and could feel my heart jump every time the starter fired his pistol into the air. There is no universe in which that sound should conjure up the fears and images it does. But here we are on the heels of a hard and heartbreaking week for our state, and our guards are up; our imaginations tainted. Holy Week feels particularly heavy this year.
When an unlikely assailant took the lives of six innocent people in a small Presbyterian school in Nashville last Monday, our tragedy-weary hearts sank again. The devastation and grief over the loss of those precious lives will reverberate in the Covenant community and beyond for years.
Do you see this evil Lord? Have mercy. Our bodies weren’t made to process, let alone endure, such senselessness.
The eyes of the Lord are everywhere,
observing the wicked and the good.
Proverbs 15:3
Turkey is still recovering from a series of earthquakes. California has been pummeled by storms. Over the past few weeks a series of deadly tornadoes has recked havoc on communities in the Midwest and the South. Rolling Fork, Wynne, Little Rock, Memphis, to name only a few. It’s only April, and tornado season is just beginning.
Do you see this destruction, Lord? Have mercy. Our fragile homes and frames are no match for the violence of the wind and waves.
And they were terrified and asked one another,
“Who then is this? Even the wind and the sea obey him!”
Mark 4:41
Every day brings news of natural disasters, war, political division, economic instability, and violence. There are times, and it seems more often lately than not, when it’s hard to be hopeful about the world we’ve brought our children into. It’s hard to trust that the Lord is near when heaven feels so painfully distant. It’s hard to believe that all will be well when things are not well within or around us. How can anyone who is paying attention choose faith over paralyzing fear?
This saying is trustworthy: For if we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he will also deny us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.
2 Timothy 2:11-13
A few years ago when we were in the PCA community, I learned a song that often plays on a loop in my head. The lyrics by Ada Habershon speak to exactly what I feel like many days. Weak and fearful. But they also speak to what I want to remind myself of in that angst: God is faithful.
I think this is what we must sometimes do to stay afloat: speak to our darkest feelings with lyrics and verses—with words we hope are true.
When I fear my faith will fail
Christ will hold me fast
When the tempter would prevail
Christ will hold me fast
What does this mean?
I think it means my faith isn’t dependent on my faithfulness but on the faithfulness of God himself.
Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy…
Jude 24
The lyrics continue:
I could never keep my hold
Through life’s fearful path
For my love is often cold
He must hold me fast
Those He saves are His delight
Christ will hold me fast
Precious in His holy sight
He will hold me fast
For the Lord takes delight in his people…
Psalms 149:4
He’ll not let my soul be lost
His promises shall last
Bought by Him at such a cost
He will hold me fast
For my life He bled and died
Christ will hold me fast
Justice has been satisfied
He will hold me fast
Raised with Him to endless life
He will hold me fast
‘Til our faith is turned to sight
When He comes at last!
He will hold me fast
He will hold me fast
For my Saviour loves me so
He will hold me fast
Even when our hearts fail and our fears rise, Easter weekend is an opportunity to remind ourselves and each other of the power of our collective confession. This is when the Church universal stands together to proclaim with our songs and liturgies what our minds struggle to comprehend:
Christ has died; Christ is risen; Christ will come again.
We cling to a faith that is built not on our strength but on His sacrifice. One that is dependent not on our grit but on His grasp.
Now, until then, and forevermore…
For our Savior loves us so. He will hold us fast.
Praise be to our risen Lord.
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