A Mary Christmas

This time of year retail stores everywhere seem to be abuzz with more shoppers than usual. I occasionally forget this and try to cram an errand into a time slot it won’t fit in between activities. This was the case recently when I ran into Target with the Preschooler to grab a few quick things before picking the older girls up from school. We had what we needed and were in a long line to checkout when she decided she was ready for a snack and didn’t really have time for the line.

Her {letting out a big sigh}: Can we just steal this stuff?

She said this plenty loud enough and in such a casual tone that it sounded like it’s something we routinely do. In moments like this I really don’t know what to do except pray for a momentary cloak of invisibility. What in the world??? 

So, I explained in an equally loud voice that no we could not steal the things because WE DON’T DO THAT and would be waiting in line, however long it might be, to PURCHASE the items. Sigh. Truly, there are times when she makes me sweat more than any trip to the gym ever will.

But, that little errand was a good reminder that it’s not healthy to spend the whole month of December running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.

I read a short devotion last week about Mary and Martha. I think most of us have heard the story and know that Martha is gently reprimanded by Jesus for being so preoccupied with fixing a meal that she misses out on an opportunity to enjoy his company. She’s frustrated with her sister, Mary, who has left her to do all the prep work while she just contentedly hangs out with Jesus. In this instance, Jesus makes it clear that Mary gets it right when she chooses to do the more important thing by being with him rather than buzzing around the kitchen.

I’ve never been a big fan of this story because I relate too well with Martha. I don’t think the Bible gives us the details, but I feel pretty sure Martha is a firstborn. She was probably good at hosting and organizing and all sorts of other detail-oriented tasks. If it were 2016, she’s a type-A who would have an active Pinterest account, a well-managed calendar on her iphone, and a knack for putting together meals and events. I’d say she kept several plates spinning at all times. In this story she’s worked up and anxious about getting things done because it’s her house and her chance to do this right. She knew dinner wasn’t going to cook itself, and who wants to drop the ball on the meal when Jesus is the guest? If ever there was a time to bring out the good china and set out place cards, this was it. Also, if there was ever a time to throw your sister under the bus for being lackadaisical while you do all the work, now was her chance. I completely understand Martha.

But, on this night, Martha’s preoccupation with the details stood in the way of something far more important: quality time with her Savior. Her prep work, even her attention to detail, wasn’t wrong. Her timing was just off. Her priorities had gotten out of balance and Jesus had to point that out.

I especially relate to Martha at Christmas. In fact, I would argue that there would be no Christmas as we know it if it wasn’t for the Marthas of the world. All the buying, baking, decorating, card-sending, wrapping, etc. is more a Martha thing while the Marys of the world might be found riding around looking at Christmas lights or sipping hot cocoa by a fire. {I realize this is an unfair generalization. I’m just being dramatic to make a point here}. As hard as it is for me to live this way, I think the Martha/Mary story is a timely reminder that being present is more important than buying presents.

Martha (interrupting Jesus): Lord, why don’t You care that my sister is leaving me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to get over here and help me.

Jesus: Oh Martha, Martha, you are so anxious and concerned about a million details, but really, only one thing matters. Mary has chosen that one thing, and I won’t take it away from her.

{Luke 10:38-42; The Voice}

“Anxious and concerned about a million details” pretty much sums up my way of living in December, if not year round. I’m not particularly good at being present. Technology doesn’t help matters. I can physically be with the Spouse or the girls or anyone else without mentally being there at all. There are things to do and those things always seem more urgent than having a fireside conversation.

I’m a suburban mom and housewife. When I stop buzzing around long enough to consider the depth of need and hurt some people are experiencing every day, I feel guilty for being anxious about anything. My life is not hard. But that guilt doesn’t stop anxiety from taking hold of my mind, nor does it automatically reorder the priorities of my heart. I’ve got to do more than just acknowledge that my perspective is out of whack. I need to take action steps to change it.

Ray Stedman, one of my favorite pastors said this, “I don’t know of anything more desperately necessary for Christians today than that we personally and individually expose our minds and thoughts to the revelation of God’s truth and consistently practice looking at life as he tells us it is, not as the world or our feelings say it is — and that we take his teaching seriously. To fail to do so is what gets us all confounded and confused.”

I don’t want to be “confounded and confused” this whole month… or in general, for that matter.

I’m not sure how to be countercultural and reflective this season in all the right ways, but I’m trying to simplify and refocus where I can. I’ve unsubscribed from a ton of email lists. Just because Shutterfly is having a flash sale tomorrow doesn’t mean I need to spend time reading and deleting five emails about it this week. I’m also trying to stop my OCD from wanting to rearrange the nativity set or redecorate the tree every time the girls move things around. {This one is hard!} I want to take the time to make eye contact and smile at other customers and cashiers in checkout lines. I’ve put a stash of Christmas CD’s in the car and uploaded a few favorites to a playlist on my phone. Music has a way of calming our spirit and redirecting our thoughts, and I need to take the time to hear it. I want to think about and act upon ways to show kindness and love to people in my community who are lonely or hurting or in need this season. I’m hopeful I can get most errands and projects wrapped up early enough this month to create margin in the evenings leading up to Christmas itself because margin is what makes room for presence. These are only a few ways I can proactively steer my inner Martha toward a more Mary-like spirit this Christmas. It will be a process! 

I don’t think Martha had it all wrong all the time. There’s a time and a place for details and getting things done. But, that’s rarely the most important thing. And, it’s especially not the most important thing in a season that calls us to reflect on the birth of the one who can save us ~ from our sins and from our restless selves. O come, o come, Emmanuel. We need you with us and within us.